all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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