So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
love makes seman taste better
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
