I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
