You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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