i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
