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I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dicks are not precious.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
