Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
