just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
