Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
