It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
