you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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