I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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