Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize