Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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