Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
