Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
