I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
