I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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