If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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