Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
