I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
