I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
