Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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