He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
