you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
