4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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