i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
