nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
