Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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