it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
