Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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