Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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