I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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