i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
