So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have fence marks all over my body
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
