If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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