yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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