bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
