So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
love makes seman taste better
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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