im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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