office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
