Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
