Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you had me at cake vodka
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
