At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we're so committed to being not committed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
