Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize