You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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