Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
