You work out of a Hotel?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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