Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
