dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
