i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
