She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
