Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
