Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
