Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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