I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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