I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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