I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
