The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
