Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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