We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Sorry my hands just texted you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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