I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
