My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
