i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
