READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
