My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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