I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
