billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize