Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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