...so i touched it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
