I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
