TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
